He bought magnums when he shouldn’t have bought magnums

First of all, do you all know what I’m talking about when I say magnums? As in condoms? As in the extra long condoms for the extra long dongs? Per google search: Magnums: extra large condoms

Ok, now that we have that out of the way, the reason for this post. Have you ever been with a guy who pulls out the magnum condom and then pulls out the not so extra large willy and you wonder “what the hell is he thinking?” This has happened to me three times. THREE times men have pulled out average or below average sized dicks and tried to put a magnum on it.

It didn’t work.

Magnums are made for the large cocked men. Let me tell you a little story. I saw the type of man who magnums are made for once. Well, I saw a picture of his cock. We met on twitter and eventually exchanged numbers. The multimedia message came through, did I mention this was a few years ago?, and I knew what was coming. First was a chest, then each picture went lower until there was a full body one. And OMG. This cock wasn’t a normal cock, you guys. It was massive. It was scary. It hung down to his knee. I swear the man was part elephant!

This was the type of penis I would never allow near me. It was so long, it would have went through my cervix and knocked on my ovaries door until an egg was fertilized. I mean, sperm probably swim faster when they’re closer, right?

I don’t know, that’s not scientific, but it doesn’t matter. This cock scared me. And this cock was the kind of cock magnums were made for.

Gentlemen, just a little advice. If your penis is shorter than the length of your hand, you don’t need a magnum condom. You aren’t fooling anyone, except maybe yourself, by buying them anyway.

Get condoms that fit, please. And ladies, have some spares in case you get with a guy who has “thinks he needs a magnum” syndrome.

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